PLYMOUTH, Mᴀss. (AP) — Lindsay Clancy searched online about hallucinations, psychosis and the side effects of several drugs she was prescribed in the weeks before she strangled her three young children in January 2023, according to an analysis of her phone data presented at Thursday’s murder trial in Mᴀssachusetts.

Clancy looked up suicide methods, bipolar disorder and insomnia at the end of December 2022 and, in January, went in search of information on postpartum depression. She also wrote a detailed note in October 2022 expressing doubts about her parenting choices, second-guessing her decision to stop breastfeeding her 8-month-old, and reconsidering plans for a fourth child.

The defense says she was in the grip of bipolar disorder and postpartum psychosis, a rare condition that can alter a woman’s sense of reality after childbirth. A forensic psychiatrist diagnosed Clancy with those conditions following the killings.

In her note, the 36-year-old former labor and delivery nurse seemed most concerned with not being able to give her youngest child the same attention as her first two, ages 3 and 5.

“I’m terrified of something happening to my kids or doing something wrong to mess up their development,” Clancy’s note read. “Our generation is inundated with information about every aspect of parenting. … It’s insane. For the last five years, I’ve just filled my mind with all things parenting and it’s just unhealthy.”