Anna Sweeney Rossman was only five years old when her mother, flight attendant Madeline Amy Sweeney, died onboard an airliner that terrorists hijacked and deliberately flew into the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. And for years, she said in an interview on Wednesday, Rossman’s grief primarily centered on her mother’s absence from certain milestones in her life.

She recalled how planning her 2023 wedding – particularly shopping for a dress – hit her especially hard without her mom there. And Rossman said it was as much a blow to not have her mom there for the birth of her daughters, each younger than two, as the US prepared to mark the 25th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on Friday.

Rossman furthermore admitted that it was “really scary” to think about how she was approaching the age her mother was when she was killed: 35.

Nonetheless, in remarks arriving as hundreds of millions across the US sought ways to pay tribute to those taken by the ᴅᴇᴀᴅliest terrorist attack in the country, Rossman said she has drawn strength to confront her circumstances from the valor her mom showed in her final moments on American Airlines flight 11.

Officials credit Rossman’s mother, who also went by just Amy Sweeney, with helping authorities on the ground identify the flight’s hijackers by telephoning details about them to her supervisor. She did shortly before becoming one of nearly 3,000 people killed that day as terrorists crashed planes into New York City’s World Trade Center, the Pentagon in Washington DC and a field in Pennsylvania.

“Thinking about it now, the gravity of that, is truly remarkable,” Rossman said. “I don’t know how many people would be able to do that. And … as I’ve grown, matured, and learned more about the details of the day, it’s just really, really incredible.”

Lawmakers in her and Amy Sweeney’s home state of Mᴀssachusetts agree. In 2002, they created an award named after Rossman’s mom, which is given to civilians who demonstrate “exceptional bravery, without regard for their own personal safety”.

Among those to receive the award posthumously was a boy who battled to rescue a kayaker stricken with a medical emergency from waters off Salem, Mᴀssachusetts – less than a year before the child, aged 10, was fatally struck by a train. Another such recipient was a man who was fatally stabbed while successfully protecting a pregnant food server from a knife-wielding ᴀssailant.

Rossman said she planned to spend part of Friday at the Mᴀssachusetts state house for the latest Madeline Amy Sweeney award for Civilian Bravery ceremony. She called it “an honor” to have a role in presenting the annual award, adding: “It’s always been a nice focus for my family to be able to meet anyone else who truly put their life in harm’s way – with no regard for their safety – to save someone else.”

Otherwise, beforehand and afterward, Rossman said she would dedicate herself to raising her daughters in the same Acton, Mᴀssachusetts, neighborhood where she and her younger brother grew up, in an area where their father, Michael, still lives.

She shared how she frequently takes her daughters to the same playground where she remembers her mother bringing her and gently pushing her on a swing – before they were torn apart from each other during Rossman’s first week of kindergarten.

“It will be special to say to them, ‘I used to do this with my mom, and now I get to do this with you,’” Rossman said.

She said she would also continue pursuing her professional career investigating money laundering, the culmination of a criminal justice education – including a master’s degree in anti-terrorism – that she embarked on because of the brutal fate that met her mother.

Perhaps as a result of the line of work she chose, Rossman said she had followed the legal processes for four men who have spent years incarcerated at the US’s Guantánamo Bay detention camp in connection with 9/11.

She recounted even traveling to Guantánamo Bay at one point for some of the defendants’ myriad pre-trial hearings, which have largely dealt with disputes over what evidence can be used to try the men.

Yet Rossman said she had had to take some distance from the proceedings, the more prolonged they have become, with the trial not set to happen until at least June 2028.

“Having this drag out doesn’t help any of the families” affected by the September 11 attacks, Rossman said. “Twenty-five years and still awaiting trial – that’s a lot to put the families through.”

Rossman, when asked, said she had little to say about the defendants, one of whom is the accused 9/11 mastermind, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

“I haven’t moved on – I definitely haven’t forgiven them,” she remarked. But she said she “genuinely” believed there were no words from her to them that could make a difference.

She had much more to say when asked what her message to the US was as the quarter-century mark of the post-9/11 era loomed.

“I still remember those who showed up for us back then – and have kept showing up,” Rossman said.

“So I say, ‘Be kind to your neighbors’ – our communities and having them to lean on are what got us through all of this.”