Dave Portnoy: Kansas City Chiefs would lose to Tom Brady’s New England Patriots… and this is why

Dave Portnoy: Kansas City Chiefs would lose to Tom Brady's New England Patriots... and this is why

Describing himself as a ‘Patriots historian,’ Barstool founder and Mᴀssachusetts native Dave Portnoy offered what he sees as definitive proof that Tom Brady-era New England would beat these Kansas City Chiefs if they ever went head-to-head.

‘I respect the Chiefs,’ the diehard Patriots fan said in a video posted on X. ‘I’ve never had a problem with greatness. I hump greatness. [Patrick] Mahomes is great. This Chiefs team is great. If they win the Super Bowl this year, I think you can say this is the greatest season of all time – a one-loss season, a three-peat.’

‘You could argue it’s the greats dynasty of all time by winning three in a row, which nobody’s done,’ he added, botching the history lesson somewhat.

While it’s true that no team has won three consecutive Super Bowls, the Green Bay Packers did capture three straight NFL crowns on two occasions prior to the NFL-AFL merger in 1970.

Then Portnoy gets to the crux of the video: ‘Who would win on the field, the [Brady-era] Patriots or the Chiefs?’

Portnoy’s response to his rhetorical question was fairly predictable.

Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots talks with Patrick Mahomes #15 of the Kansas City Chiefs after the Chief defeat the Patriots 23-16 at Gillette Stadium on December 08, 2019

Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots talks with Patrick Mahomes #15 of the Kansas City Chiefs after the Chief defeat the Patriots 23-16 at Gillette Stadium on December 08, 2019

Dave Portnoy predictably argued that Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time

Dave Portnoy predictably argued that Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time 

Read More Brittany Mahomes aims thinly-veiled dig at Chiefs conspiracy theorists ahead of Super Bowl article image

‘The Patriots obviously’ he said. ‘I won’t hear any other arguments. It’s pretty clean cut.

‘And here’s the thing. I don’t have to guess, I don’t have to hypothesize, I don’t have to list the players. They play each other. The coaches, the quarterbacks, they have a record.’

Portnoy then recited Brady’s postseason record against Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes, which includes one playoff win with the Patriots and a Super Bowl victory over Kansas City with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

‘And the facts are, [Brady] never lost to Patrick Mahomes in the playoffs,’ Portnoy said. ‘He beat him in the Super Bowl with the Bucs. He’s clearly the better quarterback. The Patriots went into Arrowhead, beat Mahomes, went on to win a Super Bowl. 2-0. Can’t argue that. Tom Brady has played Patrick Mahomes in the playoffs twice, once in Kansas City, beat his brains in twice. That will never change.’

And if that argument wasn’t convincing enough, Portnoy then recited former Patriots coach Bill Belichick’s head-to-head record against former Philadelphia Eagles coach and current Chiefs coach Andy Reid.

‘They met each other three times in the playoffs,’ Portnoy said, referring to Super Bowl XXXIX and a pair of Patriots-Chiefs playoff games at the end of the 2015 and 2019 seasons.

‘All three times, Belichick beat him,’ Portnoy said. ‘Beat him in the Super Bowl when Andy Reid was [with] the Eagles and Eagles puked all over themselves. Donovan McNabb literally puking, that’s a reflection of Andy Reid: puking.’

McNabb, the former Eagles quarterback, was caught vomiting during Super Bowl XXXIX – something he’d also done years earlier during his college days at Syracuse.

Patriots head coach Bill Belichick and Chiefs head coach Andy Reid share a hug in 2017

Patriots head coach Bill Belichick and Chiefs head coach Andy Reid share a hug in 2017 

Portnoy then concluded his less-than-scientific argument.

‘I can live with ‘well, this is the greatest run,’ but when you compare teams, like, if they played in the same era, the same time, Chiefs have no Super Bowls and Patriots have them all,’ Portnoy said.

‘Hopefully that clears it up and that’s one storyline we don’t have to deal with this week.’

With a Super Bowl LIX win over Eagles, Mahomes will have four total тιтles to his name.

For comparison, Brady was already 37 by the time he won his fourth Super Bowl in 2014.

Of course, he would miraculously win three Lombardy Trophies in his 40s, the last of which came as a member of the Bucs against Mahomes and the Chiefs.

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