Jaleel White, Will Smith Alberto E. Rodriguez;Borja B. Hojas/WireImage/Getty Images(2)

Jaleel White‘s memoir gave him a chance to offer clarity on situations such as his falling out with Will Smith.

During an exclusive interview with Us Weekly about his memoir, Growing Up Urkel, which was released on Tuesday, November 19, White, 47, shared what he hoped Smith, 56, took away from the pᴀssages about their bond and subsequent falling out.

“What’s weird is when you cross paths in our business, you never quite know how much or how little a moment meant to each other. And that can kind of play with your brain,” White said about getting to share his side of the story. “It didn’t go nearly the way I thought it was going to go with the things that I said about my interactions with Will.”

White had one specific message he wanted to leave Smith with, adding, “I just always want Will to know — and I’m not sure he ever did — how much I admired his forging ahead. I saw it coming before the rest of America got a chance to see it coming. I could see it coming in NBA All-Star Stay in School Jam and would think, ‘This dude’s freaking energy is huge in the room.’ And you wouldn’t necessarily get credit for that when you’re a kid.”

In his memoir, White recalled getting the chance to pitch a show to Smith after he signed an overall production deal with Universal in the late ’90s. The partnership (which came after White made a cameo on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) appeared promising until White got told by those around him — including his agent — that nothing would materialize due to other people involved in those decisions.

“I should have called Will directly, and the truth was, I wanted to work with Will, badly,” White wrote in the book. “Soon after my meeting with Will, his head of TV would end up getting relieved of his duties, which complicated the chain of command. And Will was becoming such a big star, so fast, that I didn’t have the nerve to call his phone myself months later and ask, ‘Hey, man, why’d you fire your head of TV? My agent said there was no deal to be made. They’re offering me this show at UPN and I know in my heart this premise is weaker than ours.’”

White ultimately signed on to star in the short-lived series Grown Ups after being convinced it was the safer option, writing, “My decision to go with Grown Ups instead of exploring a show with Will Smith — sticking to my guns and being patient with the process basically ended my and Will’s relationship. There were no more invites to his house or his movie sets, no more calls to say ‘Whats up?’”

After reflecting on the incident for his book, White came to realize how many outsiders were involved in the situation.

“When I got the opportunity to nearly work with him, [I now] go back and look at the number of people that conspired to make sure that we did not speak directly any further,” White told Us. “It sucks for me. But as long as I got it out and I got to express it, that’s once again in one of those areas where the book just becomes therapeutic.”

White rose to stardom playing Steve Urkel on the hit ’90s sitcom Family Matters. Since then, White has continued to work with appearances in movies such as Dreamgirls, Who Made the Potatoe Salad? and Hustle and guest star appearances on Boston Legal, House, Castle, Bones, The Big Show Show and his current CBS game show Flip Side.

The opportunity to reflect on the highs and lows of child stardom allowed White to learn more about himself.

“When I finished Family Matters as an eager wide-eyed 21-year-old, I was so ecstatic to jump into my TV writing career. I just knew that was what was for me next. But I got sidetracked with family pressures to be in college. Every bit of me just wanted to return to a comedy writers’ room,” White told Us. “But I didn’t understand that there were going to be a lot of obstacles in my path. Because of the way I grew up participating in the filming of that show, I never really understood this clear division between showrunners, writers and performers on set. I was actually more inspired by the writers that were working on our show.”

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White would like to keep writing — in addition to acting — following the release of Growing Up Urkel.

“I definitely want to write more. I always hold out the possibility that I will be called to write more for scripted television. I don’t hold my breath but I keep an eye out for that opportunity. I want to do it all,” he admitted. “But at the same time, media has changed now. I just hope that I continue to be a part of entertainment that is really hitting and really striking the cord with large groups of people. I want to provide laughter, joy and excitement.”

Growing Up Urkel is out now.