Austin Stowell is grateful for the way NCIS: Origins has created space for meaningful — and necessary — discussions about mental health as someone who weathered a personal loss while filming the hit CBS series.

Stowell, 39, opened up to Us Weekly about channeling his own grief while playing Leroy Gibbs in the prequel, saying, “I had to tap into some personal trauma. I lost my father four years ago to suicide and that’s obviously not easy.”

NCIS: Origins set an important example by centering the series around a pivotal point in Gibbs’ life, which paved the way for Stowell to work through his own feelings.

“I get to tap into that all the time and I get to exercise those emotions. I get to revisit them in some ways that four years ago would’ve been too fresh, too much and too emotional for me to touch upon,” he admitted. “I think because I’ve had some time and space, I was more prepared to play this character than I would’ve been four years ago.”

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Stowell often would use his own experience for his performance, adding, “It informs me because I have gone through what the stages of grief are like. Certainly through the first 10 episodes that we’ve filmed now, the audience is getting the full gamut of emotion [with Gibbs].”

Austin Stowell as Leroy Jethro Gibbs Art Streiber/CBS

NCIS: Origins follows a young Gibbs in 1991, years prior to the events of NCIS. Taking over the role originated by Mark Harmon, Stowell had his work cut out for him as NCIS: Origins thrust viewers into a period in Gibbs’ life shortly after the death of his wife and daughter. Gibbs attempts to navigate his new job as a special agent at the NIS Camp Pendleton office while still dealing with losing his loved ones.

“Rage, sadness, grief, regret and glimmers of hope [are all explored on the show.] Those who learn to live with grief and with loss are not moving on from it. You just learn how to live with it,” Stowell explained to Us. “That is very difficult and some people are less comfortable living with it afterwards. But if this show can ease other people’s pain in any way and help them learn to live with it, I would consider that a great success.”

Stowell’s approach to playing this extremely traumatic point in Gibbs’ life has received critical and fan acclaim. But it also required a lot of hard work that often affected Stowell long after he wrapped on an episode.

“Sometimes [the emotional weight of a scene] does [come home with me]. Sometimes I can’t control. It’s not a faucet that I can’t turn it on and off. It just is — and I’ve learned to accept it. I think it makes me a better actor, a better man and a better friend. It makes me a more understanding member of society [because] sometimes people are just having a rough time or having a bad day,” he continued. “It’s helped me be less judgmental and have some head space, as they say. I hope that translates to my work and to the people I work with at the end of the day.”

Mariel Molino as Cecilia “Lala” Dominguez and Austin Stowell as Leroy Jethro Gibbs Greg Gayne/CBS

While reflecting on getting to lead a franchise as successful as NCIS, Stowell expressed how thankful he was for the cast and crew on the show.

“Sure, we make a TV show for the people out there and we absolutely look forward to it and want to share it with them. But the crew that I go to work with every day has a more intimate look at the process and I rely on them to allow me the comfortability and the space to reveal myself,” he noted. “They have my graтιтude because they are so there for me all the time. This wonderful and talented crew that we have on this show. They are as responsible as I am for this character because of the comfort that they allow me to play Gibbs.”

Stowell may be playing the main character but he refuses to take most of the credit. He made numerous efforts to highlight how everyone on set deserved the praise despite him being the face of the new show, which has already received a full season order.

“If Mark Harmon were here right now, he would look at me and laugh. He would shake his head and he would say, ‘You don’t know what’s coming.’ I don’t think there is any way to prepare [to lead a show],” he told Us. “I am the man who my mother and father raised me to be. That influence on me has been my greatest tool when handling the workload and the responsibilities that come with playing a character like this with.”

Austin Stowell as Leroy Jethro Gibbs Sonja Flemming/CBS

It has at times been “uncomfortable” for Stowell to hear himself be referred to as No. 1 on the call sheet, adding, “I never want to look at it that way. There are times when it’s mentioned on set and I do ask them not to say that. It is us. It is all about this team. Mark Harmon, David J. North, Gina Lucita Monreal and Sean Harmon have done an amazing job at creating a team that has just taken such ownership over this project.”

Stowell recalled how the executive producers weren’t just looking at talent while casting the show. (The series also stars Kyle Schmid, Mariel Molino, Tyla Abercrumbie, Caleb Foote and Diany Rodriguez.)

“They chose [people] because of who they were as human beings. They’re all phenomenal actors and we found exactly the people we wanted to get for these roles. I am so lucky to go to work with the people I go to work with every day,” he shared. “Personally, this is a character that I jump out of bed to play in the morning. I am very honored that I have been tapped to be Gibbs. It means a lot to me and I didn’t expect it to mean so much to me. Just in the first five months, I have grown so much as a human being. I am Gibbs’ biggest fan now. It’s a dream job.”

Despite not seeking out reactions to NCIS: Origins as he remains committed to the day-to-day work, Stowell is hopeful that viewers feel represented on screen. Stowell expressed to Us how NCIS: Origins has potentially paved the way for others to relate to Gibbs’ emotional journey.

Austin Stowell as Leroy Jethro Gibbs Greg Gayne/CBS

“That is something very near and dear to my heart. If we can be the conversation starter — which I think is our job as artists and storytellers. Our job is to be the catalyst for uncomfortable conversations,” he said. “If we can help anyone out there live an easier tomorrow, that would be the greatest gift to me.”

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There was a lot of pressure for NCIS: Origins to succeed not just in the shadow of NCIS but as its own story. It has and Stowell is even more motivated to get the show to the finish line as he prepares to film the remaining episodes of season 1.

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“It’s my job to keep it going. It’s my responsibility to my fellow actors, to the crew and to the fandom at large. I want to play Gibbs to the best of my ability and not leave any rock unturned,” he told Us. “I don’t want to look back and regret something later on that I could have or I should have. That’s driving me all the time — enough to get a full season order. That’s a nice vote of confidence to say it’s working, but that’s not party time.”

He concluded: “If anything, that means, ‘OK, it’s working so keep it going. Don’t change anything and keep that up.’ We’re putting 300 people to work every day who depend on us to a certain extent. So it would be disrespectful of me not to give it my all.”

NCIS: Origins airs on CBS Mondays at 10 p.m. ET and is currently streaming on Paramount+.