Shane MacGowan’s wife Victoria Mary Clarke has admitted that she felt suicidal at times in the wake of her husband’s death.

The Pogues frontman died at home in Dublin last year aged 65 surrounded by his family after developing pneumonia. 

He married Irish journalist Victoria, 58, in Copenhagen in 2018 after being engaged for 11 years and in a relationship for decades.

And now almost a year following his pᴀssing, Victoria has opened up on her intense grieving process, telling how there’s ‘no easy way past’ the grief.

Speaking to The Independent, Victoria detailed the heartbreak she felt over the loss, explaining: ‘There were obviously enormous amounts of desolation and despair. There were quite a few days where I thought that I definitely wanted to kill myself – I wanted to get out of here and go and be with him.’

The publication reports that Victoria rang suicide charity The Samaritans ‘several times’ and was also supported by her loved ones through her anguish, with Victoria adding that she doesn’t believe there’s ‘a quick or easy way past’ the grief. 

Shane MacGowan’s wife Victoria Mary Clarke has admitted that she felt suicidal at times in the wake of her husband’s death

The Pogues frontman died at home in Dublin last year aged 65 surrounded by his family after developing pneumonia 

Speaking further about her struggles, she went on: ‘You just have to let yourself feel it. So there was a lot of howling and crying and feeling s*** – the symptoms are very physical, like a pain in your ribs – and you don’t want to get out of bed.’

She went on to say that for most of her time, her ‘world’ consisted of just herself and Shane, adding: ‘He looked after me, we looked after each other. We were complete.’

The writer also added that she had recorded conversations of them and would continually listen to them, telling how doing so made it feel as though her husband was ‘in the room’.

During the very candid interview, Victoria – who recently opened her first solo exhibition – told how her late partner has been an influence on her work, telling how she gave a talk about grief, but then Shane kept ‘getting me to say funny things’, leaving the audience in sтιтches. 

Victoria also added that Shane’s friends including Nick Cave had been helping her get through her grief, with Nick – who has sadly lost two sons – recommending ice water as it shocks you into feeling you want to ‘stay alive’. 

The legendary Irish rocker, who was behind the iconic Christmas song Fairytale of New York, died ‘peacefully’ with his wife and family by his side. 

The singer was battling viral encephalitis – a life-threatening condition that leads to brain swelling – and had been in and out of Dublin’s St Vincent’s Hospital for months. He was discharged ahead of his upcoming birthday on Christmas Day.

In June this year, Victoria paid tribute to her ‘soulmate’ six months after his funeral – and says she doubts she’ll ever find their ‘connection’ with anyone else.

Almost a year following his pᴀssing, Victoria has opened up on her intense grieving process, telling how there’s ‘no easy way past’ the grief [Victoria and Shane in 2012]

 ‘There were obviously enormous amounts of desolation and despair. There were quite a few days where I thought that I definitely wanted to kill myself’

‘You just have to let yourself feel it. So there was a lot of howling and crying and feeling s*** – the symptoms are very physical, like a pain in your ribs – and you don’t want to get out of bed’ 

Read More Who is Shane MacGowan’s wife Victoria Mary Clarke?

Victoria from Dublin, first met her late husband when she was 16 years old at the The Royal Oak pub in North London in December 1982.

The couple – who had a eight year age difference – began dating in 1986 and married in 2018.

Appearing on an episode of the What a Woman podcast, the Irish journalist spoke about their early relationship and her grief since Shane’s death at the age of 65 in November 2023. 

Discussing the beginning of their 40-year love story, Victoria recalled in a teaser clip on Instagram: ‘Everything about him was so magnetic and so charismatic.

‘My life changed completely. It was like the missing piece of my life has arrived.’

Opening up about her grief, Victoria continued: ‘When you have a soulmate, you just feel so at one with them.

In June this year, Victoria paid tribute to her ‘soulmate’ six months after his funeral – and says she doubts she’ll ever find their ‘connection’ with anyone else 

‘It’s a very deep connection that I’ve never had with anyone else and I don’t even know if it’s possible to have it with anyone else.’ 

Speaking to BBC Radio 4’s Woman Hour, Victoria said shortly after Shane’s death: ‘When I look at his picture, I feel him smiling at me and I actually feel a real smile, a real genuine connection.

‘I feel his love and I feel that connection really strongly. So it’s very hard to feel sad about it, even though I do sometimes burst into tears for my own loss.

‘I can’t feel sad for him because I just really feel he is in a very blissful state.’ 

She then went on to describe their relationship as ‘having a piece of your soul that is in another human form.’