“Ogres don’t do reboots—we do seconds. Breakfasts, mostly.”

Once Upon a Time glitches as a magic quill rewrites Far Far Away into “Very Very Corporate.” Shrek’s swamp gets rebranded as a wellness bog, Donkey’s roped into a splashy musical tour, and Fiona’s leading a rescue like a one‑ogre army. The new baddie, The Author, edits folks into clichés—knights become influencers, witches do unboxings—and plans to erase everyone’s happy ending with one final draft.

Gags and set pieces fly: onion‑carriage chase through a pop‑song parade, Dragon’s teenage kids breathing heart‑shaped fire, Gingy shrieking “Not the gumdrop drones!” , and Puss (one life, still dramatic) dueling atop a giant quill while Kitty soft‑paws the vault of Happily Ever After. Lutes jam with chart bops, mud splashes in glorious slo‑mo, and the Mirror throws savage commentary. Final beat: book snaps shut—Shrek kicks it open. “Get outta my trope… and my swamp.”